A Guide To Your FTM Boyfriend

Update

lovecomesinallcolors — Wed, 01 May 2013 07:16:00 -0600

I just wanted to let everyone know that I am moving and will not have internet for a bit. So, please feel free to keep messaging me and when I am on campus or finally get internet at the house I will immediately start answering questions.

Also, I will let you know about some updates I have planned. I really want to finish the table of contents this summer. I also want to make some submission days so that this tumblr can be more interactive with it’s followers. I may have some other changes coming soon, just let me get through finals next week!

The weather has been so beautiful here, and I hope it’s been the same elsewhere!

Thank you all!

Tiegen

Hey. Just wanted your advice for a cis gay male who's interested in a ftm boy. Thanks

lovecomesinallcolors — Wed, 01 May 2013 07:12:27 -0600

What advice are you looking for?

My boyfriend wants me to tell my parents about our relationship, and I told him I would when we get serious. Last time we talked I rushed into it and told my sisters, and that didn't go well. My parents know him because we have been best friends for 2 years, and they also know about his past (as a female). I just don't know when the right time is to tell them, and I don't want them thinking I have been doing this behind their backs. Oh me and him have been talking for a month.

lovecomesinallcolors — Sun, 14 Apr 2013 20:55:51 -0600

This is completely understandable. If you are not comfortable with telling your parents, then don’t tell them. You need to be comfortable as well, especially if the relationship hasn’t gotten serious yet.

I think he is worried that you are trying to keep him a secret, and I am sorry if I am wrong. I wouldn’t keep it a secret, but I would wait to announce a serious relationship until the relationship has progressed a little and you have had some deep conversations about the specifics of what the relationship means, just like any other relationship.

Let him know that you will tell them in time, but you don’t want to rush in to anything, that you are not comfortable telling them yet.

Other than the relationship needing to progress, is there anything else that may be holding you back? Are you worried about how your parents may react (even though they know everything else), because of how your sisters reacted? Has your relationship gone public and the only people that don’t know are your parents? All of these things can contribute to your dilemma.

If you would like to talk more please feel free to ask, or come off anon and we can talk privately. Also if anyone has any tips or stories they would like to share please feel free to submit them and get some interaction going!

I hope everyone has a great week!

Tiegen

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lovecomesinallcolors — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 07:35:10 -0600

zombieswilleatusall909:

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ftmskyline: nicklavin: New piece for the Trials and...

lovecomesinallcolors — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 21:00:12 -0600

ftmskyline:

nicklavin:

New piece for the Trials and Tribulations of being Transsexual.

I cannot even explain the rage this question causes me. Even if I liked women like that, it wouldn’t be any closer to the truth.

Me at school almost everyday, until they realize I’m dating a cis guy then I’m a bat straight from hell

I love your blog. I'm a straight cis girl and am starting a new relationship with an ftm. It's new territory for me and your guide table of contents so far has helped me, do you know when you'll put up the rest? THank you

lovecomesinallcolors — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 19:36:47 -0600

I have a few pages completed to add, but I have absolutely NO HTML skills and do not know how to add them.
The Table of Contents was created by the original Admin, and what she was expecting for each page is unclear to me. Also, she was working on having a lot of the followers collaborate and give different points of views for the chapters.

I really do want to start working on it more, but I won’t have time for a few more weeks. I will only be working this summer, so I will definitely have more time to work on the chapters. Sorry for the inconvenience!!!

Me and my FTM boyfriend live two hours apart, and when we are together everything is all good..but the second I get home he is another person. He becomes distant, and bored with me. I don't understand the switch, and it really bothers me. He told me the hormones can change his moods, but I feel like this isn't the hormones....

lovecomesinallcolors — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 19:33:48 -0600

The hormones can have a lot to do with it because it can make mood swings more severe. For instance he will be very happy when he’s happy, and when he is sad he can seem depressed.

I understand where you are coming from. Kadyn used to live in Colorado while I lived in Michigan.

When he is bored with you he may be separating himself from the situation, in order to make being apart less painful. He may not realize the how much it’s bothering you. There may also be other things going on at home that he can just forget about when he is with you, making the difference more noticeable.

I would try talking to him about it. Let him know how you feel about it too, otherwise he may never even notice that it’s bothering you. Having deep conversations over the phone, or skype, can seem easier but it’s still hard to communicate clearly. Try talking to him about it when you get to visit. Making it a big deal may make him shut down, so just try to reassure him that you are there for him if he needs to talk.

It can be really hard to tell what is going on, especially in the early stages of T. Just be honest about your feelings.

Sorry it took so long to respond. My daughter was on spring break and it has been hectic around here. I hope everyone had a great Easter!

Tiegen

submit and spread the word! we promo all LGBTQIA blogs

peacelovetrans — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 20:13:43 -0600

submit and spread the word!

we promo all LGBTQIA blogs

fuckyeahlgbt: shutthefuckuptruscum: ramblingsfromthelandofcotto...

lovecomesinallcolors — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 06:49:22 -0600

fuckyeahlgbt:

shutthefuckuptruscum:

ramblingsfromthelandofcotton:

ghagiel:

shutthefuckuptruscum:

thetreesareenergy:

Republican legislators in Arizona are attempting to pass legislation that forces transgender people to only use public restrooms, dressing rooms and showers associated with the gender listed on their birth certificate. According to the Associated Press, conservative lawmakers are proposing the legislation in response to a human rights bill passed by the city of Phoenix which prohibits gender identity discrimination in public accommodations. (via Arizona bill would jail transgender people for using the ‘wrong’ bathroom | The Raw Story)

ugh, is there any way to petition against this? >:(

Petition: https://www.allout.org/en/actions/arizona

signal boost!! SIGN THAT SHIT.

SIGN IT

5,000 more signatures to get to their goal. We can do it.

so my boyfriend is ftm and i am a straight girl who has only ever had sex with cis males and before trying to have sex with him recently i hadnt had sex in almost two years and im not sure if its just the the dick he uses or if there is something me or him are doing wrong but it really fucking hurts it was his first time using his dick and my first time with an experience like that i just need some advice for a more enjoyable time

lovecomesinallcolors — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 12:05:29 -0600

I completely understand what you are talking about.

It could be a combination of things. The amount of time between sexual intercourse, and his first time using the dick. It can take some getting used to. Also it could be the dick itself. It may depend on if it’s a strap on, dildo, or pack n play. I know that sometimes a certain strap on dildo hurts me in certain positions.

Try using a different one, or use the same one a couple times to just make sure it isn’t just him getting used to it, or your vagina needing to readjust to having sex again.

If the pain continues even after you have exhausted all other options, see a doctor. There could be a medical explanation for the pain.

I hope this helps!

~Tiegen

Thanks for creating this blog. I may just be dating a FTM boy, but this is still an amazing place to come just in case I need any extra help. :)

lovecomesinallcolors — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 21:45:04 -0600

You are very welcome. It’s nice to know that the followers are happy and that they know I am here for them!

~Tiegen

i know this doesnt really have to do that much with this blog, but do you have any tips for getting over a break up? my ftm boyfriend of 4 months and i broke up today, and i have no idea what to do

lovecomesinallcolors — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 07:59:34 -0600

Hm. This is a tough one. I have been through a few breakups, some good, and some very bad; but how you get over it really depends on your situation and you personally.

The last time I split with someone was years ago. I liked to watch movies and go out with friends to get my mind off of things. It also helped me to realize that the world didn’t end because of the breakup. Some people like to get “right back on the horse” and get right back into the dating scene. Some like a good night of crying, love movies, and a gallon of triple chocolate ice cream.

Splitting up with someone and getting over it can be a very complicated thing. It can be made more difficult if you see the person every day, or maybe seeing them happy makes you feel happy and helps you to get over it. A bad breakup can bring resentment and pain, to both people, so try not to let anger drive you because it wont make you feel better later. A good breakup can lead to a stronger and closer friendship, realizing that this person is still important to you and still makes you smile so you keep them around.

A breakup with an FtM partner can pose it’s problems. You know things about this person that a lot of others don’t. The best thing, that at least I could think of (because I have never split with someone who is FtM), is to just treat it as a normal break up. The fact that he was FtM really doesn’t change the key factors in the split (unless you split because he’s FtM. Again, if it was a bad split and you are feeling a little revengeful, don’t out them. It will only create more conflict, more drama, and more pain; and eventually, you will regret it.

I know all breakups are hard. But really you just have to do what’s best for you. Get out there and have some fun, or grab that ice cream and put on P.S. I love you and bawl your eyes out.

If you ever just need someone to talk to, I am here. Inbox me off anon and we can chat privately, or go to my personal page and we can chat there as well.

I hope everyone has a fun and safe St. Patty’s Day!

~Tiegen

I am a straight, cis male. My girlfriend of almost eight months, whom I love very much, just came out to me today as FTM and informs me that s/he is planning on transitioning. I want to be there fore her and support her as much as I can, but I am terrified that I won't be able to stay with her because of my sexuality. I don't know what to do; I love her, or I should say him now, dearly, but I need advice.

lovecomesinallcolors — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 20:08:27 -0700

Anon, I am truly sorry it took so long for me to reply. I check tumblr almost every day and it did not notify me that I had a message.

What kind of advice are you in search of?
I am sorry to say that I cannot tell you to stay, or leave.

You love him. That is a great step in the right direction. You acknowledged his decision, and his feelings, and are addressing them appropriately. I understand that the beginning is a terrifying change for many partners.

Be true to yourself. If you feel that your sexuality keeps you from being with him, then be as honest as possible. Honesty is important. If you two can be honest with one another, that will make it much easier for you both. When the lines start to blur in your relationship, talk to him about it. Make sure you are both comfortable. Even if you decide that being with him is something you cannot do, or handle, you can still get a great buddy out of the situation. Your love for him may change, but him becoming who he is does not change him. Keep that in mind throughout this.

As for his decision to transition, be there for him. Support him and listen to what he has to say. Things are going to get rough for him, and he will need someone to lean on at times.

If there is something particular you would like advice on feel free to elaborate. If it’s something very personal please feel free to message me off anon and I will be glad to just speak with you one on one. I keep everything we discuss completely confidential.

I hope everyone is having a great evening.

~Tiegen

randomramblingsofafan: imthesnarkknight: blatantlyqueer: texad...

lovecomesinallcolors — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 16:46:12 -0700

randomramblingsofafan:

imthesnarkknight:

blatantlyqueer:

texadison:

sonoftherevolution:

Very, very rarely am I infuriated by news articles as much as I am by this one.

So, as I sometimes do when I’m bored, this morning at school I logged onto CNN whilst in Computer class. I saw, and clicked on, a heart-touching story about a young transgender girl from Colorado - six years old - who had been barred access to her school’s girl bathroom, because ‘his (the school referred to her by her physical anatomy) genitalia would make other girls uncomfortable’. Her parents were, and are, fighting a legal battle for her to be allowed access.

I thought it was about the sweetest story I had ever heard, and such a tragedy that she wouldn’t be allowed to use the lavatory she desired. I thought that, because CNN’s commentators are usually quite Liberal, there would be a massive outburst of support in her favor.

Man, was I wrong.

Thousands of comments have been made on the article, such as the one shown in the picture, displaying such offensive, hurtful things about transgendered children, comparing their desire to be a different gender to children pretending to be dogs, superheroes, snobby royalty, or astronauts. Comments saying that all people should follow the genitalia they were given. All of these with dozens, hundreds, thousands, of upvotes. And any comments saying that there was nothing wrong with the girl almost always had 50% or more downvotes for every upvote.

I have three or four trans friends, and to them, there is no question who they are. It’s not pretend, it’s not a call for attention. It’s a simple, “I have a Penis/Vagina, and I am a Girl/Guy (respectively).” It’s a simple fucking concept for me to be used to, and it sickens me that others can’t have the fucking common courtesy to refer to people the way they would prefer.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/27/us/colorado-transgender-girl-school/

CNN, step up your moderating game, please. Don’t let these assholes say such hurtful things.

Fandoms of tumblr…I know that this has nothing to do with any of you, but…please. Reblog. Spread the word.

Reblog this like wildfire, guys. No little girl should be subjected to both descrimination in school AND world-wide bullying.

No child, period, should ever have to feel that way or face such things.

Particularly haunting for me, because she looks a lot like me as a child.

And my faith in humanity crumbles a little

When you see it, REBLOG IT.

lovecomesinallcolors — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 23:21:43 -0700

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

If you ever want to talk: My Tumblr ask is always open.

I also would love to talk to someone who is in a similar situation. I live in Germany with my husband who is pre-everything, but in the process of getting the legal name and gender change and is starting all the tests you need for getting T. Right now this is set somewhat aside since his dad died two weeks ago. I would love hearing from you, or from somebody else in the same situation :)

lovecomesinallcolors — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 16:22:45 -0700

I would love talking with you also!

If anyone else would like to start some connections with other ftm partners please feel free to submit!

Also, if you would like to speak with me, just shoot a message saying so and I would be glad to talk any time!

I just need someone to talk to. I need a friend. All my friends have cis boyfriends. They don't understand that my relationship is different. They think everything can be solved with sex. I just need someone to continually talk to.

lovecomesinallcolors — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 19:11:15 -0700

I would LOVE to talk to you!

It’s difficult for others to understand, especially if they do not know that your partner is not a cis male. If you need anything feel free to contact me on my personal tumblr.

If anyone else would like someone to talk to feel free to message her, or me! :)

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

~Tiegen

With all our hearts!I hope everyone has a great Valentines...

lovecomesinallcolors — Sat, 02 Feb 2013 21:45:37 -0700

With all our hearts!
I hope everyone has a great Valentines Day!

~Tiegen

My boyfriend is FTM, and we have been dating for two months. It's also a long distance relationship and our relationship is already kind of difficult and sometimes I feel clingy and like we need to talk more already, and he's going to start T in the near future and I'm really worried about changes in our relationship, any advice?

lovecomesinallcolors — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 19:57:55 -0700

Kadyn and I were also in a long distance relationship for the first half of it. The distance makes any relationship strenuous.

The relationship is still new, so it can be scary when his life is changing and you are not a part of it. I understand. I freaked out one night because I was worried that as the T started doing its job, that he would feel more comfortable with himself and leave. Especially since I was so far away, pregnant, and emotional.

I know that I say this a lot, but communication is SO important in this relationship! You need to talk to each other if you want to make this work. Let him know your fears, and give him a chance to put them at ease. Listen to him too. He is uncomfortable, and changing. Sometimes all he’s going to want is just for you to listen and reassure him that you’ll be there.

As for issues with the distance:
Make a date night. Kadyn and I would pick out a movie and play it at the same time and just watch and talk. As ridiculous as that sounds, it really helps with the pain of being apart.
Skype is the best creation on the planet. Being able to see one another will set your mind at ease. It will allow you to watch the transition, and you won’t feel so out of the loop. Kadyn would skype me when he did his shot because it put him at ease, as well as included me when I couldn’t be there.

Worrying about the changes in your relationship is kind of vague. Are you worried about how his T will change him and affect the relationship? How the distance will affect it? Or is something already happening that has you worried?

I hope this helped, and if it didn’t please feel free to add to your question and I will be more than glad to help!

If anyone else has any tips or stories that they would like to share, please feel free to submit them!

~Tiegen

me and my girlfriend have been dating for a while, we're both bisexual. but she recently came out to me saying she wants to make the transition to a male. i wanna make sure that im there for her every step of the way but i dont know exactly how to do that, can someone give me some tips about how they support their significant other or how they wanna be supported? how would i tell my parents something like this?

lovecomesinallcolors — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 09:47:48 -0700

It’s great that you want to be there for your partner!

The first step for you and your partner is to do your research. There is so much that comes with transitioning. You need to make sure you know all that comes with the territory, be informed. This will help you, and your partner. Look at pictures, look at doctors, learn the vocabulary.
Keep communication OPEN. If you don’t know, or are not sure, about something, tell your partner. This allows him to answer your questions and help keep you both comfortable.
Keep an open mind. The transition is different for every person. For some it is easy and changes nothing, for others it can be very difficult and EVERYTHING changes. You need to prepare yourself for the possibility of anything and everything. A simple example is that T can cause body hair growth, for some the body hair change is minor, for others they can become a mountain man. You just never know how the transition is going to affect the mind, or body.

Now, telling your parents is an issue that you MUST discuss with your partner first. He may not want them to know. He may not want anyone to know. He will tell people on his own time, in his own way, and when he is ready he can tell you, or help you, tell your parents. It is too sensitive an issue to tell them without his knowledge that you are going to do so.

I hope this helps. If anyone else has any tips please submit them!

~Tiegen